To Kill A Mockingbird Journal Entries
by TheWriter51
Summary: Wrote these journal entries in the perspectives of Boo Radley and Mayella Ewell during major events in the book for an English project and thought i'd submit them to fanfiction. R&R please!
1. Introduction to Dill

_**Hey everyone! So this is just a little fic that i'm publishing because i had an English assignment to write journal entries of eight important events of the book in the prespective of two characters.**_

_**I chose Mayella Ewell and we had to write for Boo Radley too so i decided to upload it and see what you all think! :)**_

**_R&R please!_**

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><p><strong>Introduction to Dill<strong>

_Boo Radley:_

A new boy moved in next door. I had found out when I saw him playing with Jem and Scout Finch. He was a very unusual boy who loved to tell atrocious lies. I'd overheard a few of them as they passed by my home one day. But although he was a liar, he had a great imagination, which made the plays he performed with Jem, and Scout very entertaining to watch.

His imagination, however, could lead him to trouble and Jem and Scout always seemed to get involved in it. One afternoon as I was reading the newspaper, I was surprised to find Jem Finch sprinting towards my house. He touched the side paneling and raced back. He looked behind him, as if I were chasing him. I knew they, like the many other kids in Maycomb, had the idea that I was someone to be afraid of. They called me Boo Radley. Although, it isn't nice to call someone a name, I didn't think much of it. I knew that the adults in Maycomb were to blame especially that nosy Miss Stephanie Crawford who always eyed my house whenever she passed as if she could find new gossip by looking at it. The rumors she spread about me only made me laugh. They were all exaggerated to the point where everyone thought I had stabbed my father with a pair of scissors, when in fact, I had never done such a thing. I had learned a lot since my teenage years and I knew murder got you nowhere. So I wasn't at all bothered by how naïve the Finch children could be. With a father like Atticus Finch, I was sure they would be carefully taught.

_Mayella Ewell:_

A couple of my brothers had been hanging around outside of the farm one afternoon. They told me a new boy had moved into Maycomb County to stay with his aunt. Buckley and Bailey, who were twins, hated him and said he was always causing trouble. I didn't think too much of this Dill they mentioned. He was probably just like the rest of the children in Maycomb. According to Buckley, he hung around with the Finch children.

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><p><strong>What do you think so far?<strong>


	2. Scout's First Day of School

**I know the last one was kind of short but this one's longer :)**

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><p><strong>Scout's First Day of School:<strong>

_Boo Radley:_

I was in the kitchen, enjoying a simple breakfast of grapefruit when I saw two kids walk past the house. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered to notice. The kids were just like their parents, just smaller and not well educated.

But the two kids were the Finches. I didn't know the kids well, I only knew what I saw and that only included that Scout, the youngest was the most unusual seven year old I'd ever seen. Instead of skipping around in fancy dresses and wearing bows like the other girls, Scout wore a pair of overalls and acted more and more like her older brother Jem everyday. I guessed that it was mostly because heir father Atticus, lost his wife to a heart attack several years ago and little Scout never had a proper influence. It made me laugh to see the disgusted looks on the neighbor's faces as they concluded that Atticus let his children run wild.

The two kids glanced at the house as they passed. Scout said something to Jem and he shook his head but as he looked back at the house, he looked terrified. They headed to the schoolhouse together and it occurred to me that I had never seen Scout go to the school with Jem before. It must be her first day.

A little while later, I was going about my day inside as usual, when I saw them pass by again. This time another boy accompanied them. He looked like a Cunningham. I knew the Cunninghams well and so did my father, Nathan. We particularly didn't like the Cunninghams since they always found ways to cause trouble. But the Cunninghams weren't nearly as bad as the Ewells who lived outside of the Maycomb County Dump. They were savages and I pitied their daughter Mayella. I'd seen her about, always given the most strenuous labor while her father enjoyed hunting any animal he laid his eyes on. Scout didn't seem too happy about the Cunningham boy joining them.

I didn't see them pass by until later that day. Scout looked upset about something and I figured that she hadn't had a very good day. I was curious as to why. I saw her complaining to Atticus as they met him coming home from work.

_Mayella Ewell:_

Today, Burris was trying once more to try and go to school. My brothers never took to education too well. They didn't see a point to it but they didn't understand how rewarding it could be to have the ability to read and write. Ever since I'd been given the opportunity to learn how to read and write, I found it to be one of the best things. I read anything from cookbooks to signs and practiced writing whenever I had the chance. It was the one thing in my life that I felt good at and I always wanted to purchase some books to read. But Papa got angry when I'd asked him once and slapped me across the face. He yelled at me about how Ewells weren't doctors or lawyers who were supposed to be educated. He said that my job was to work his farm and later, my brothers' farm when Papa died. He was so angry that he banned me from eating any meals for a whole day.

I knew that even if I acquired an infinite amount of knowledge, I would never be able to become what I wanted to be. I wanted to become a doctor and take care of the sick. But it was an irrational goal so instead, I made a different goal to try and get one of my brothers to receive a decent education. Maybe someday when they were older, one of them could get a job off of the farm and find opportunities that I wanted so badly. Though, if one of them became a lawyer, maybe my children and their children could have a better place in the world. So Burris had to go to school again. Papa didn't seem to care much about whether he attended school or not but, I did.

Burris in particular was the brother who I was closest with. He was the youngest and therefore, he hadn't known my mother very well. So he seemed to count on me to really take care of him like a mother would. I took care of all my brothers like a mother would. Sometimes I would tell them stories before they went to bed about castles, knights, and dragons or anything else we could imagine. Since we didn't have storybooks, I made them up. My brothers liked to come up with characters and there was always some kind of swamp monster or magical creature. But Burris treated me more like a mother than the rest.

"Do I have to go?" Burris was saying.

"Yes," I said, ruffling his hair, "and please try n' last longer than last year."

"Why should I go when I'll learn nothin'?" he asked, stubbornly.

"Because someday it'll be worth somethin'," I said, "maybe you'll grow up to bein' a lawyer or a doctor."

"I ain't wantin' to be no lawyer," he complained, "I'll be a farmer jus' like Papa."

"Maybe," I said, looking around quickly as if he were watching, "but at least try n' learn somethin' of good value."

He was still frowning stubbornly but didn't say another word.

"How about I walk you to the corner?" I suggested, "It ain't too far."

He shrugged and I led him out to the yard. When we reached the corner, I gave him a chunk of bread that was supposed to be my breakfast. But I knew he would need it more.

As I was cooking supper that evening, I heard the door swing open and Burris was looking a little upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked him when he came into the kitchen. He liked to taste test the food sometimes when he was having a bad day.

"The teacher didn't like me," he said, "and the other kids didn't either but, I showed 'em how tough I am."

He reached up and plucked one of the cooties off of his head. Then he continued to go on about how awful school was and how the kids weren't nice to him.

"I tried to make some friends," Burris said, "I was tryin' to be nice like you told me to but, they all ran away from me."

I picked him up and placed him on my lap as the deer meat turned from pink to brown. I tucked his head under my chin.

"Don't worry about those other kids," I told him, "they're nothin' but, trouble n' I think you're better off stayin' here. Besides, if you want, I could teach you."

"Really?" he said, eagerly.

"Yes sir," I said, "n' maybe if you learn how to read n' write, someday you can write us all one big story about a swamp monster. Maybe we should do somethin' about those cooties too or you'll be turnin' into a swamp monster."

Burris laughed and I gave him a taste of the deer. It was nearly impossible to convince Burris to wash himself but for once he didn't complain when I came back after supper with a bucket of water. I found myself smiling as we talked about what kind of magic powers the swamp monster could have.

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><p><strong>R&amp;R please!<strong>


	3. The Gifts and the Radley Place

**I only posted Boo's perspective for these two. For the actual project i had to write one for Mayella too (which aren't very good) :( but i was determined to write in her perspective since i found some of the others a little too boring and since you don't know a lot about Mayella. Luckily, i still did well on my assignment :) So enjoy these entries from Boo and i'll post some more Mayella ones in the next chapter :)**

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><p><strong>Scout and Jem Find Gifts in Tree Knot Hole:<strong>

_Boo Radley:_

Atticus Finch was one of the most outspoken people I'd ever known. I met him when he had first moved on the street with his lovely wife, Eleanor Louise. He was always a cheerful man and Eleanor was a good wife, always looking after everyone. She was also an ambitious woman, which was probably one of the reasons why she had won Atticus' heart. Sometimes she would leave a fresh pie sitting on my windowsill because she knew I refused to come out. I always enjoyed her pies, they had just the right amount of sugar. The apples always brought me back to when I was a young boy. However, when Jem was born, the pies came less often since she was always so busy taking care of him.

It had been a devastating night when his wife had a sudden heart attack. I would never forget the look on Atticus' face. He had lost more than just a mother for Jem and Scout. Since that night, Atticus had remained the same man to people who didn't know him well however, to the people closest to him, they saw how he had seemed to age with old memories and lost love. It was as if he were a light bulb without a filament, he could keep on living as he normally did but, there would always be apart of him missing.

Many people had loved Mrs. Eleanor Finch and they were all affected by her passing. Even I felt sadness at her sudden death and I always regretted never saying thank you for her pies.

This was what inspired my next actions. I could never go out of my home and talk to them the way any other person would. I felt it was unnecessary and that it would only scare them away. So I decided to place two sticks of gum in the tree that Mr. Nathan had given me. I wanted them to have a clearer understanding that I was not the scary man they thought me to be. Maybe if I left subtle gifts for them inside the tree knothole, they would eventually see that it was my way of being friendly.

**Scout rolls into Radley Place yard:**

_Boo Radley:_

I'd been lounging in my house when I'd seen a tire spinning quickly, and coming towards the house. I stood up, and peered out of the window. Two boys chased after the tire. I recognized them as Jem Finch, and Dill. Their eyes were wide as they saw where the tire was headed. I chuckled to myself.

The tire reached the front porch and a young girl tumbled out of it. I laughed when I saw that it was Scout Finch. When she saw the house, she got very frightened and ran back to Jem, and Dill. Jem, and Scout were arguing until Jem dashed inside the gate and retrieved the tire. I was still laughing as they raced back to their homes.

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews so far! I really appreciate them and i hope you enjoyed this chapter although it was short :) (i promise that next chapter will be a lot longer because it's Miss Maudie's fire)<strong>

**I'll update soon! :)**


	4. Sneaking Around Radley Place

**Here's a new chapter and it's longer like i promised :) I lied the last chapter and said this one would be Miss Maudie's fire, that event is next though :)**

**R&R please!**

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><p><strong>Scout, Jem, and Dill sneak into Boo Radley's backyard:<strong>

**_Boo Radley:_**

I sat down in the old rocking chair, watching the sunset on the horizon as I did on most evenings. Nathan was out of the house at the moment, taking his usual stroll about the neighborhood. I'd always been curious of what would happen if I were brave enough to set foot outside of this place. But I already knew what would happen.

There would be a huge commotion about the neighborhood. "Look it's Boo!" the kids would shout and then turn away from me as if I were some kind of monster. Not that it mattered to me what other people thought. Maycomb was always the same and you couldn't live here for one day without receiving an insulting nickname.

So I stayed in the house, sticking to my usual routines that never consisted of facing this corrupt world. Instead, I spent the time I had to myself studying. One of my most enjoyable pass times was reading. Books could take me to a world beyond my imagination. I could escape from these dark walls that blocked out reality. There were too many horrible things going on in the world. Life in this house was simpler.

At the moment, I was reading _The Gray Ghost_. It had become a favorite of mine when I had seen those three kids reenacting it close by. The kids I remembered are named Scout and Jem Finch, and their friend whom they called Dill. Scout and Jem, who had grown up in the town, were just like the rest of Maycomb. They were trapped in the ways of the town, following the examples of their notorious neighbors. However, they were also very unique, as their father was Atticus Finch, a respectable man who worked as a lawyer in Maycomb County. He was said to be a great lawyer and took his job very seriously.

Yet, they still liked to attempt to send me notes or try other ways to bother me. I didn't understand why they did those things. But it didn't surprise me when I'd seen them sneaking around the backyard last night. It was very amusing to watch until they reached the back porch. I'd grabbed my shotgun and fired up at the ceiling, making a hole in the ceiling. It was a clear warning to them that I wanted to be left alone. I realized that they probably wanted to see what I looked like. I had to make it clear to them that I wanted to stay in my house and that they shouldn't bother me like that anymore. I wasn't angry with them for being curious but, they had to be taught to mind their own business or they'd turn into Crawfords.

After I'd scared them off, I'd found Jem's pants left behind. They were dirty and torn so I took them inside to clean them up. I carefully stitched up any tears and placed them neatly outside of the fence knowing Jem would come back for them.

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><p><strong><em>Mayella Ewell:<em>**

Sometimes in the evening when I'd finished all of my chores and Father was still out hunting, I'd make my way across town to Deer's Pasture and lay back against the soft, green grass. I would usually gaze up at the stars twinkling overhead and think about my mama. She always took me here when I was a little girl. We'd watch the stars together at night in the summer and we would try to find constellations in the stars. We weren't sure what a lot of them looked like but, we had fun guessing.

I had managed to get out of the house one night in the summer. I walked along the road until I reached the trail leading to Deer's Pasture. As I walked along the trail I could feel the smooth stones under my feet. Grass tickled my feet as I wandered over to the large oak tree. I ran my fingers along the rough bark as I slid to the ground and leaned against it.

It was so rare that I was able to come here and when I did, I was always overwhelmed by a sense of calm. I felt warm and secure here under the tree, as if my mother was lying right beside me, singing a sweet lullaby. Here, in this meadow, I could finally escape from the world and pretend my reality was just a horrid nightmare that I could soon wake up from.

I stared up at the stars the way I had on those special nights spent with my mama. I found a constellation that looked like a small ladle and with it, the North Star. It had always been my favorite star in the sky because it was always the brightest.

Mama died when I was thirteen years old. I never knew how or why she died but one day Papa sent my siblings and I into the forest, telling us to retrieve some kindling.

I could hear a loud voice roaring at another from inside the forest. I wasn't very concerned because it was just like my parents to be fighting. They rarely got along but, the noise only got worse. I heard glass shatter and a bloodcurdling scream. I had a very bad feeling in my gut and I was too afraid to turn back right away. My brothers had been too busy to hear the fight.

When we got home later on, Mama was missing. Papa told us a nigger had come and attacked them. Papa had fought him off but the nigger had killed Mama. He then forbade us from mentioning it ever again. My brothers' obeyed him but, I didn't. I never talked about Mama in front of Papa however, I found that it was important to talk about it with my brothers. If I wasn't there to constantly remind them that they once had a mama then she might be forgotten and I was terrified of that. Something about Papa's explanation seemed odd to me though, my brothers were soon loathing all niggers and blamed them for everything.

The sound of footsteps in the meadow jolted me from my thoughts and I jumped up from where I was. I quickly moved behind the oak tree. Papa didn't usually come here but he might get mad if he ever saw me.

I peeked out from behind the tree trunk and could make out three kids sneaking through the pasture. There were two young boys who were being followed by a smaller yet, tough-looking girl. They looked like the kids I'd seen playing around with that tire. Two of them I remembered were Finch's. Papa said they were always causing trouble and Atticus Finch, their father, was one of the reasons why the county was so unfair to us. They were heading for what looked like the Radley Place.

Curious, I waited in the meadow and a few minutes later there was a loud gunshot coming from the Radley Place. I snickered; they probably had gotten themselves into trouble with Boo Radley. It wasn't until a few minutes later when I saw them race past again, one of them was missing pants. I wondered where they had gone.

I rolled my eyes as I watched them running away scared of old Boo Radley. I'd never met Boo Radley but I heard some things about him and how he never came out of his house. Honestly, I couldn't blame him for not coming out of there. if I had a choice I lived with only Burris or one of my other brothers and had no one to boss me around, I would only come out of my home to come to Deer's Pasture. That way I wouldn't have to deal with cooking or planting seeds all day long. I longed for the day when I could go about freely and do anything I wanted to. Maybe in the future I'll find some kind of freedom but, until then, I would just have to keep going.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! :)<strong>


	5. Miss Maudie's Fire

**I know it's been a LONG time since i last updated and i'm so sorry! But here's a new journal entry event. I'll try to update more often. I've been soooo busy with school and my other fic so i hope i'm forgiven :)**

**Anyways, ENJOY and R&R please!**

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><p><strong>Miss Maudie's Fire:<strong>

_Boo Radley:_

Life was never changing in Maycomb County. It had received minor changes at times though, nothing significant seemed to happen here. Miss Stephanie Crawford continued to spread more rumors at teas with Mrs. Merriweather and Mrs. Farrow. Miss Maudie tended to her garden and battled against the Holy beliefs of the foot washing Baptists, and Mr. Avery went back to bickering about how children should be blamed for nearly everything.

I could see him barking at the Finch children from his porch. It sounded like he was giving them a hard time, as it was the first time it had snowed in Maycomb since 1885.

Jem and Scout were making the best of it the way they always did. I was amused to see them constructing what was probably a snowman but, it looked more like Mr. Avery.

I spent the day doing my usual routine, though I was a little curious about the snow. I'd never seen it snow before. But I knew what would happen if I stepped outside of this place and I changed my mind.

It was 1 o'clock in the morning when I was woken from a light sleep. I could smell a familiar smell, like smoke coming from a northern direction. I got up from my rocking chair and peered out the window. A fiery orange glow came from Miss Maudie's home and I could see smoke wafting up towards the sky. There were yells and a huge commotion from the neighbors as they all came out of their homes. Mr. Avery was struggling to get himself out of the house and I chuckled when he came tumbling down into the shrubbery. I noticed Atticus Finch with his children, Jem and Scout. They must be confused by all of this and Scout looked like she was shivering. Atticus was busy handling other things with the neighbors.

I felt my eyes move to the door. Despite everything, I had the urge to be out there with them. I had grown a sense of protectiveness over the kids as odd as it sounds. Though, I had known from the day they had caught my interest that they weren't ordinary children. They reminded me of what it felt like to be a kid and I missed the days when everything was simple. I'd heard about a black man who had been accused of raping Bob Ewell's daughter, Mayella Ewell. It had reached my ears that Atticus was chosen to defend the black man in court soon. Ever since I'd heard the news, I was afraid that Atticus defending a colored man might result in his children getting hurt. Over the next few months, they would have to learn the harsh truth about life and the town that they'd always seemed to think was perfect.

So I had left my house, knowing that these children had a big year ahead of them and maybe a simple good deed as putting a blanket on their shoulders would be a small relief. The minute I reached the end of my front yard, I felt exposed and wanted to run back inside. I gripped the blanket tighter as I stepped further and further towards the scene of the fire. Neither Scout nor Jem noticed when the blanket touched Scout's small shoulders. I waited for a moment before I headed back inside the house, satisfied with completing what I felt obligated to do.

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><p><em>Mayella Ewell:<em>

It was late at night when it happened. I'd been unable to rest after what had happened with Tom Robinson. A few of my brothers were outside playing. None of them seemed to have any idea of what had happened to me or anything at all. They only knew that a nigger had attacked me and their hatred for Negroes grew.

I sat near the row of geraniums that I'd first planted a couple of years ago. There were seven bunches of them and whenever I looked at them, I was reminded of my brothers. The geraniums were special to me. They helped me to keep strong and hang on, despite Papa and my lonely life on this farm. I felt at peace with the geraniums and I was desperate to keep them alive for as long as possible. I knew if one of them died, then the rest would. My brothers, like the flowers, needed me to take care of them. I knew what would happen if I stopped caring and I never wanted any of them to die.

When the copperhead snake bit Buckley while he was playing in the forest, I had rushed to his aid. I knew my snakes well, and this one I could tell was venomous. I had carried him into town, ignoring Papa's talk about how unreliable, and unhelpful the doctors in Maycomb were.

I couldn't use the phone to contact Dr. Reynolds because Papa forbade us from using it when he wasn't home. It wasn't as if I had many people to talk to. I got along mostly by myself. I'd never gone to school, and I didn't have time to make friends.

So I brought Buckley to Dr. Reynolds who I was relieved to find at his home. He was surprised to see me but went straight to work. After a few moments passed, Dr. Reynolds received a phone call that one of Maycomb's residents home had caught on fire.

He finished with Buckley and sent us back home, saying he was too busy to do much else for us. Buckley was okay though and when the fire came into view, he persuaded me to wait there and watch it with him. The bright colors seemed to fascinate him. I stared at the flames, which were hungrily devouring the small house. Crowds of people surrounded the building and I could make out the children who I'd seen messing around with Boo Radley. I found myself suddenly wishing I was with them. I wished that I could have a chance to stand in their shoes for a day because it seemed their life was a lot simpler than mine. The fire was nothing but a memory to them, which would soon fade, as they grew older. As for me, I knew for as long as I lived, I would never be able to escape the constant pain I felt. The only person who had eased my pain had been Tom Robinson and now there was no one. My grip on Buckley tightened, reminding me of why I was still living.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Let me know in your review!<strong>


	6. Tom Robinson Trial

**Here's another one!**

**R&R!**

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><p><strong>Tom Robinson Trial:<strong>

_Mayella Ewell:_

I shivered in my seat, though it was far from cold in this crowded courtroom. Papa had been called up to testify and Atticus Finch was asking him questions about the incident. I watched, feeling hopeless. A bruise on my arm ached echoing how awful I felt inside.

"You're left handed," Atticus Finch stated after Papa had been asked to write his name to clarify whether he could read and write. Atticus seemed to think that this would prove that my father was guilty. I sighed, afraid that someone would find out the truth and desperate for my own justice simultaneously. However, I knew that no matter what Atticus Finch did, Tom Robinson would be blamed. I felt a tinge of guilt at the thought because I knew the consequences for rape were severe especially for a nigger like him. I also felt guilty because I was fully aware of what exactly had occurred that evening. Not the lie Papa conjured to convince the jury that Tom Robinson was at fault, but the truth. One thing I remember my mamma had always told me from birth was that lying is wrong. But sometimes when you have a secret that you're desperate to keep hidden to protect your life, it's hard to decide which path to take.

"Mayella Ewell!" Judge Taylor bellowed as Papa took his seat beside me. He narrowed his eyes at me and I took that as his clear warning. If I messed this up, I would end up just like my mother.

I rose shakily from my seat and took small steps toward the witness stand. My ribs ached as I did so, I'd been hurt like this before but it was worse this time because I could feel every inch of the pain as if it were a pulse, constantly reminding me of what happened. I clutched the chair with my hands to keep them from shaking.

Mr. Gilbert asked me questions about what happened that night. I answered the questions to the best of my ability. I remembered what Papa had told me to say and repeated it.

"And then he jumped on me," I said, my grip tightened on my chair and I thought of my mother. She always reminded me to be strong and that's what I did. I stayed strong until Mr. Gilbert was finished but then Atticus Finch rose to his feet. I was afraid of what would happen. I was afraid, Atticus Finch would be able to get the truth out of me and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let them know what happened. I thought of my red geraniums…seven of them. Like my brothers, if I died…who would be there to take care of them? I couldn't let anything happen to them since they were the only people keeping me tied to this chair.

I broke down into tears hoping I could convince Judge Taylor to not let Atticus question me but it was no use. Atticus asked me questions like he did to Papa. I could feel Papa's gaze on me as I responded to each question. I answered carefully, I knew one slip up of information would reveal what really happened that night.

"I got somethin' to say an' then I ain't gonna say no more," I said. I tried to recompose myself, my Papa's words echoing in my head nearly drove me insane. 'whore', 'weak', 'useless'… "That nigger yonder took advantage of me an' if you fancy gentlemen don't wanta do nothin' about it then you're all yellow stinkin' cowards, stinkin' cowards, the lot of you. Your fancy airs don't come to nothin'-your ma'amin' and Miss Mayellerin' don't come to nothin' Mr. Finch." I broke into tears, my shoulders shaking with my angry sobs. I glared at Atticus Finch as I left the stand.

It was Tom Robinson's turn after a short break and as he explained the story from his perspective, my guilt only grew worse with every word he spoke. I wished I could dart out of this courtroom and go back to before I had decided to make that move on Tom Robinson. But it wasn't lust that drove me to do it and I didn't love him. When he came over to help me, my worries subsided. As long as Tom Robinson was there, I would be okay. Every day his presence meant more to me than anything. He was my only real friend and having him there, made it a little easier to get up at dawn and work the fields. I'd found more than a friend in Tom. With Tom around, I found strength from knowing that there was some good in the world outside of my home. I couldn't care less what color his skin was. Besides that, there didn't seem to be too many differences between us.

Sometimes when he came, I thought of begging him to take me home with him. I wanted to runaway with him, maybe take a train north to Canada. I heard niggers were treated nicely there. But I had my siblings to take care of so I had to settle for what I could.

I was the one who had attacked Tom Robinson. I hadn't been thinking clearly that day and it had felt like I was in a daze. When Tom Robinson said he had to go…I couldn't just let him go…I wanted him to stay with me…I needed him to stay. When I'd felt his dark, warm skin in contrast with my own white skin, it made me feel something that I'd never felt before. The feeling of kissing someone who wasn't trying to hurt me made me unable to resist. I was desperate for someone to love me again because I'd forgotten what it felt like for someone to hold you and whisper those three words that were so simple but meant so much. There was only one time in my life when someone had said those words to me and that person had been taken from me like so many other things.

The truth was that Papa was the guilty one. It's true, he had found out about my short affair with Tom Robinson while in one of his drunken stupors and decided that beating me wasn't enough of a punishment. It wasn't new to me, being raped by that horrible man. It's happened to me many times before but there was nothing I could do about it. No way out. I couldn't jus' run away from my problems. Especially when my brothers depended on me.

It started after my mother's death. Before, my mother would be burdened by his rage and filthy ways. I knew that the right thing, would be to tell the truth and bring freedom to Tom Robinson as well as myself. But even in the event, what would become of us? If Papa left and went to prison, even if he didn't follow through with his plan to murder me, what would happen to my siblings and I? Would we be allowed to stay on the farm in peace by ourselves? Or would we be taken away so my brothers could be sent to an orphanage? I couldn't fathom the idea of being separated from them. I loved them more than anything. They were my little geraniums, each one vibrant and adventurous. It was those boys who kept me alive everyday.

Which is why I could never allow something so terrible happen to them. At the farm, they were free to wander around and play. They could go to school and try to learn something. Maybe school hadn't been great for Buckley this time around, but perhaps he could try again next year.

If Papa were to leave us and if we were allowed remain living on the farm…there was still no answer of what we could do. We had no money and no education. It would be dreadfully difficult to find work. Though I have always loved writing. Perhaps I could write and publish books the way great writers have. I could make good money from it and someday I'll buy my siblings something real special. Something even better than ice cream.

But my petty ideas were only dreams. Papa would be furious and I was deathly afraid of what would happen if I turned him in. Telling the truth would only lead to more disaster. I had to think about what was best for my siblings and I knew exposing Papa as a criminal was only selfish. I couldn't bear to lose my brothers. They provided me with air to breathe and now they'll provide me with the strength to do what I so desperately did not want to do.

I wished so badly to blurt out the truth so they could send the real criminal to jail. But what use would it be? I was just a weak girl, meant to do other's bidding. So I sat there and hoped for the best.

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><p><em>Boo Radley:<em>

The trial for Tom Robinson occurred recently. Never in my life had I seen so many people in the Maycomb County Courthouse. I knew it wasn't just because of it being a case between a black man and some white folks. The real reason for it being such a popular event was because of who was defending Tom Robinson. Atticus Finch, one of the most intelligent men I've ever known, had agreed to defend this black man even though the odds of them winning slim. Still, I admired his courage and the fact that he wasn't afraid to stand up for what's right. I was sometimes surprised at him, though. He was such a respectable, highly educated man, yet, he never judged anyone for believing something different. He never forced his kids to do what he wanted but, instead, he showed them how they should live. That didn't mean Scout and Jem always did as he asked though. I had read in the Tribune about how they managed to sneak into the courtroom to watch along with their friend Dill.

On one hand, watching the trial would be an interesting experience for them especially watching their own father defend a colored person. However, Jem, Scout, and Dill were still too young to have to understand the Judicial system of Maycomb. When the final verdict was displayed in the paper, I wasn't surprised at all. Though, I was concerned about what Jem, Scout, and Dill thought especially, little Jem Finch. It had been a devasting site when Jem walked home with his sister and their friend. I'd felt a tinge of sadness as I saw tears cascading down his cheeks. It nearly broke my heart that Jem, who was still so young, had to see his childhood and everything he'd come to love about the world shatter.

I wished there was something I could do for him. I wished I had put a stop to them when I had the chance. No child deserved to witness this horrible reality of racism in Maycomb. However, I knew no matter what I did; Jem was intelligent enough to realize it on his own. I just hoped there could be some kind of peace so the family could readjust and move on from such a devastating event.

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><p><strong>Review! :)<strong>

**I especially hope you liked my interpretation on Mayella's POV. I always felt like there was more to the story and there definitely wasn't something right about Bob Ewell. :/**


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